Bert looked at me questioningly with a
grin but I stopped his thought right away by saying, “ I meant a
cold bottle of Perrier mineral water.”
I went on to tell him excitedly that after I finished my watercolour class and on my way to the sketch and
drawing class from the aft (rear), I took a shortcut to go forward (bow).
I was shocked to find some women topless sun tanning on the
deck. Though they were laying on their stomachs, and didn't really
showed anything, I was still caught by surprise. Having caught a
glimpse of them, and with the breeze blowing my hair, it was like
listening to Bach A minor in G-string!
At the Crows Nest bar, Mailou, my
German friend greeted me by saying, “I have news for you about your
boyfriend in the watercolour class,” she started teasingly
referring to the guy with the bulbous nose.
“What is it?” I pretended to be
eager to hear her news.
“You know he lost his luggage and it
never arrived so underneath that black shirt, is NOTHING!”
“You mean, he goes commando all
around the ship?” I asked.
“Yes, but stay away from him because
he is starting to smell. He hasn't changed since Fort Lauderdale!”
she exclaimed.
Our laughter was then briefly
interrupted by the arrival of our sketch and drawing instructor.
The class went by quickly. We were each given our sketch pads, pencils
and drawing boards. They were all free, as Holland America had paid
for it. It is the same with our watercolour classes. Supplies paid for by HAL.
Most people left in a hurry afterwards
because they wanted to dress up for the Captain's Black and Silver
Ball. The dress code was formal, and right after lunch time, the
ship was decorated with black and white, and silver-foil strips
everywhere. Our dining room chairs were covered with alternating black and white slip covers. Napkins were also in black and white,
and the dining attendants wore formal silver and black suits.
The officers donned their white dress uniforms; presenting a very elegant
atmosphere. Everybody else wore black, silver, and white.
When we walked out of the dining room
after dinner, we came face to face with a strange woman, whose look
was almost comical; it really startled me. She was walking with a
very elderly man in a cane. His hair was grey and he was so bent
over while he was struggling to walk in the direction of the piano
bar. According to my husband, there's really nothing wrong with his
bent body. It made his eye level directly at her bust level!
He walked so slowly that it would have
been perfect for a time lapse photographer to catch the action from
start to finish.
I swear that if we were cruising in Alaska we
could have seen glaciers drift by faster. His very stooped shoulders
were draped with an ill fitting grey sweater matched with very pointed leather shoes. She was wearing black gladiator style high heels adding to the incompatibility, and style of their garb on board the ship especially, on a very formal night. It looked like Project Runway gone really bad! The gaze of everyone was upon them.
Later at the Piano bar, a friend asked
us, “ Have you seen that woman who walks around with fishnet
stockings and a Cher style Wig? She has very pointed boobs and
always wear a plastic flower in her hair. She is with a very old man?” she asked with laughter in her eyes.
“A few times I saw
her with some other men, I don't know what to make of it,” she
continued. “It's very strange.”
“Those men might be the President and
officers of the five minutes (including shower) society or they must
have the worst possible case of eye cataracts! “ an acquaintance
joked.
“They must be using Braille, that's
why she's so puffed up,” Bert joked.
“He/or She must be a transvestite,”
a friend interjected. “Now Bert, it is your turn to find out,”
he said laughing.
The captain's Ball was scheduled at
9:30 pm and because we don't dance,
I just went to the Queens Lounge and took some pictures of the lounge
before the actual scene. I would have liked to wait until the
dancing started, but what the heck? It will be the same scenario,
almost like walking into Madame Tussuad's wax museum for free. Or as
the comedian on board said, “There's so many white haired people,
it is like a cue tips convention.”
On the way to our cabin we again
spotted the strange woman with her thick mass of hair and gladiator
sandals minus the very old man. Her thick mass of hair covered her
head almost entirely. With very big reconstructed boobs, she has the
figure of a woman but the looks of a rat! Bless her heart!
Her hair also reminded me of the
statues of saints they take out during Holy week for processions.
With that hair and gladiator high heels, I can imagine, St. Veronica
getting out of her pulpit in the altar and going for a stroll from
the Vatican to the Colosseum, hoping to meet Spartacus.
Stay tuned for more stories on our
rat-face passenger and the strange “Commando” guy....
